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Re: Decepticon HQ

Post by Dirge on Sat Nov 24, 2012 9:28 pm

*Dirge walks past Galvatron and waves at him*

"Howzitgauin BPP?"

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You came back from the Dead before I could catch your post count on the Lair:- Sixshot

Unicron could be anybody's daddy. He's a giant man whore. :- Galvatron
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Re: Decepticon HQ

Post by Galvatron on Sat Nov 24, 2012 9:31 pm

Galvatron takes his Sudoku book and rolls it up and hits Dirge in the back of his head as he walked by...Dirge stops and turns towards Galvatron as he rubs the back of his cone-shaped head

"Where the hell have you been?!!"

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Gathering wood is also a great bonding experience - SIXSHOT
I'm getting more ass than a donkey farm - SIXSHOT (again)
You twist around in the air and assault the room with your unmentionable! - SOP
It's so weird around here Dora wont even explore it-RAVAGE
has anyone realized yet that SOP sounds an awful lot like SOB? - DETECTIVE BARRICADE
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Re: Decepticon HQ

Post by Dirge on Sat Nov 24, 2012 9:36 pm

*Dirge optic balls Galvatron*

"Well, BPP, you wouldn't believe it but ....

I was almost a Dirge-ette, I fell down a big hole that opened up, Batzilla left me, Robosheep left me, I felt totally alone I had a dose of the poisoning, then I bet all my shanix on the 2:37 at Chepstow and lost, I died and was resurected and I had my Facebook hacked
"

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one guy was dead and still posted over a hundred times! :- Ramjet

You came back from the Dead before I could catch your post count on the Lair:- Sixshot

Unicron could be anybody's daddy. He's a giant man whore. :- Galvatron
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Re: Decepticon HQ

Post by Galvatron on Sat Nov 24, 2012 9:42 pm

Galvatron stands puzzled and for the first time feels speechless...

"Did I hit you too hard with my Sudoku puzzle book?"

_________________


Gathering wood is also a great bonding experience - SIXSHOT
I'm getting more ass than a donkey farm - SIXSHOT (again)
You twist around in the air and assault the room with your unmentionable! - SOP
It's so weird around here Dora wont even explore it-RAVAGE
has anyone realized yet that SOP sounds an awful lot like SOB? - DETECTIVE BARRICADE
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Re: Decepticon HQ

Post by Dirge on Sat Nov 24, 2012 9:46 pm

*Dirge suddenly drops to his knees and begs to Galvatron*

PULEEEEEEZE DON'T FORCE ME TO CLEAN YOUR CRAPPING STATION WITH MY CONEHEAD AND A TOOTHBRUSH!!!!!!! i CONFESS, SOME OF THAT WASN'T TRUE!!!!!!!!!

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one guy was dead and still posted over a hundred times! :- Ramjet

You came back from the Dead before I could catch your post count on the Lair:- Sixshot

Unicron could be anybody's daddy. He's a giant man whore. :- Galvatron
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Re: Decepticon HQ

Post by Galvatron on Sat Nov 24, 2012 9:56 pm

Galvatron looks down at conehead begging for mercy...

YOU LIED!!? How dare you lie to me!

Galvatron raises his laser cannon towards the shaking Dirge...

I should put you out of your misery right now!

Dirge still on his knees, drops his arms to his side and bows his head excepting his punishment.

Galvatron's laser cannon whistles as it charges up to blast...

But Galvatron sees that Dirge is willing for his dismise. Galvatron don't like to kill anybody that is willing to die. He knows Dirge must have been through a lot. And he admires that Dirge has come forward. Galvatron wants answers and cannot get answers from a dead con.

Why the lies you pittyful conehead? What really is going on and where the hell have you been? You better be out killing Autobots!!

_________________


Gathering wood is also a great bonding experience - SIXSHOT
I'm getting more ass than a donkey farm - SIXSHOT (again)
You twist around in the air and assault the room with your unmentionable! - SOP
It's so weird around here Dora wont even explore it-RAVAGE
has anyone realized yet that SOP sounds an awful lot like SOB? - DETECTIVE BARRICADE
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Re: Decepticon HQ

Post by Dirge on Sat Nov 24, 2012 10:05 pm

*Dirge shakes more than a stray cat in a home for psycopathic dogs*

"Well BPP, I was almost a dirge-ette, then one day I was giving Robosheep a bath and I got myself covered in his bathwater, it got into my systems and almost offlined me. It took weeks to recover, during which time both Robosheep AND Batzilla left me on my own. I didn't feel like talkin' to anyone. That included fellow cons. I couldn't cope any more, so I left. My life fell apart, and then in mid Junetron I got Sunstroke by workin out in the sun too long. I recovered from that too. Kinda changes my life. I felt different. Happier, more comfortable. Tis only now that I felt like I was comfortable enough to return.

Oh, and I killed Wheelie and seaspray too, cause I was bored
"

*Dirge hands Galvy Wheelies head and seasprays voicebox*

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one guy was dead and still posted over a hundred times! :- Ramjet

You came back from the Dead before I could catch your post count on the Lair:- Sixshot

Unicron could be anybody's daddy. He's a giant man whore. :- Galvatron
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Re: Decepticon HQ

Post by Galvatron on Sat Nov 24, 2012 10:21 pm

So you finally took care of Seaspray and Wheelie!? I KNEW it was done!! I've been waiting months for the proof to be revealed. For this head and this voicebox, I reward you with your life. But if you ever go stray again I will hunt you down and finish you off personally.

Rise up off of your knees. Look me in the opitcs! Batzilla and Robosheep were never trustworthy to begin with. True Decepticons never abondon each other when we are need of help. We always work as a team to destroy our enemies. Then afterwards we might turn on each other. You were betrayed by your companions. So you betrayed us all. If you want to continue among the ranks of the Decepticons, you will be observed very closely.

_________________


Gathering wood is also a great bonding experience - SIXSHOT
I'm getting more ass than a donkey farm - SIXSHOT (again)
You twist around in the air and assault the room with your unmentionable! - SOP
It's so weird around here Dora wont even explore it-RAVAGE
has anyone realized yet that SOP sounds an awful lot like SOB? - DETECTIVE BARRICADE
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Re: Decepticon HQ

Post by Dirge on Sat Nov 24, 2012 10:26 pm

*Dirge rises up and connects the voicebox to the head. Then opens his cockpit and takes out a 9volt with "PROPERT OV GALVITRON" scrawled across it.
He connects the battery and wheelie head speaks*

AAARRGGLE MARGLE BAAAARGLE"

_________________


one guy was dead and still posted over a hundred times! :- Ramjet

You came back from the Dead before I could catch your post count on the Lair:- Sixshot

Unicron could be anybody's daddy. He's a giant man whore. :- Galvatron
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Re: Decepticon HQ

Post by Galvatron on Sat Nov 24, 2012 10:37 pm

Galvatron rips the 9volt battery away from the head and puts it in his battery compartment. He takes the head and mounts it on the wall.

Dirge you smell worse than my shiny giant purple ass metal! Get in there and take a hosing!

Dirge walks into the bathroom...

HOLY FOOK! WHAT DIED IN HERE?

From deep below the sewer lines, one can hear a faint Frenzy voice....

"Help me!"

_________________


Gathering wood is also a great bonding experience - SIXSHOT
I'm getting more ass than a donkey farm - SIXSHOT (again)
You twist around in the air and assault the room with your unmentionable! - SOP
It's so weird around here Dora wont even explore it-RAVAGE
has anyone realized yet that SOP sounds an awful lot like SOB? - DETECTIVE BARRICADE
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Re: Decepticon HQ

Post by Dirge on Sat Nov 24, 2012 10:45 pm

*Dirge staggers out the bathroom holding his nose and bright green*

"Did a fookin ratbot crawl up your ass and fookin die or what BPP?"

Dirge then listens carefully*

"I'm sure I heard Frenzy in there"

*Dirge heads to his long dormant terminal and switches it on and reads up on things*

"It seems I'm hated BPP, Someone has hacked into my private Facebook account."

Dirge's face drops as he reads what people think*

"Maybe they should try livin' my life for a while"

_________________


one guy was dead and still posted over a hundred times! :- Ramjet

You came back from the Dead before I could catch your post count on the Lair:- Sixshot

Unicron could be anybody's daddy. He's a giant man whore. :- Galvatron
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Re: Decepticon HQ

Post by Galvatron on Sat Nov 24, 2012 11:00 pm

Galvatron lights a match and tosses it in the bathroom and quickly closes the door before a huge explosion was heard on the other side of the door.

Turning his attention away from the bathroom, Galvatron again slaps Dirge on the back of his cone-shaped head with the sudoku puzzle book....

You dumbass! There is reason for everbodys thoughts! Too much deception has risen! Too much deception even for Decepticons!

You can't disappear the way you did and return as if nothing ever happened!

I did send my Decepticons out to search for your existance. I have no clue of anything about your Book Face! Nor do I give a rats ass! If it bothers you so much then find out who did it! If anybody can do it I know you can!

_________________


Gathering wood is also a great bonding experience - SIXSHOT
I'm getting more ass than a donkey farm - SIXSHOT (again)
You twist around in the air and assault the room with your unmentionable! - SOP
It's so weird around here Dora wont even explore it-RAVAGE
has anyone realized yet that SOP sounds an awful lot like SOB? - DETECTIVE BARRICADE
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Re: Decepticon HQ

Post by Dirge on Sat Nov 24, 2012 11:17 pm

*Hearing the explosion doesn't even make Dirge flinch. He stands up and opens his cockpit and starts looking for something, out comes:-

A wet kipper
a broken mobile phone
a rat trap
a rat thats escaped from said trap
a pig that sings "love hurts"
a bright pink boob tube
A half eaten cookie
A ticket for a years supply of pineapple juice from wal-mart
a steam train wheel
a Scooby Doo hand puppet
a CD labelled "Shit hits from 1986"
A pair of new pants
a Robocop toy
a golf club, bent to the shape of Sixshots head
a pot of blue paint
a half used pot of orange paint
a fooked paintbrush coated in orange paint
a letter addressed to "Galvatron, the Nemesis, outer space"
a football with "Fookin bag ov wind" written on it

Finally, Dirge gets out a computer disc and shoves it in his computer

Seconds later an image pops up

Dirge smiles*

"Gotcha"

_________________


one guy was dead and still posted over a hundred times! :- Ramjet

You came back from the Dead before I could catch your post count on the Lair:- Sixshot

Unicron could be anybody's daddy. He's a giant man whore. :- Galvatron
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Re: Decepticon HQ

Post by Galvatron on Sat Nov 24, 2012 11:30 pm

Galvatron stumbles over all of these objects as he tries to get a clear view of the image on the computer screen.. at the same time more stuff falls out of Dirge's cockpit....

jars of belly button lint

silicone implants

a restraining order

2013 Mayan calendar

his landing gear

Who is this image that I am looking at?

_________________


Gathering wood is also a great bonding experience - SIXSHOT
I'm getting more ass than a donkey farm - SIXSHOT (again)
You twist around in the air and assault the room with your unmentionable! - SOP
It's so weird around here Dora wont even explore it-RAVAGE
has anyone realized yet that SOP sounds an awful lot like SOB? - DETECTIVE BARRICADE
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Re: Decepticon HQ

Post by Dirge on Sat Nov 24, 2012 11:39 pm

*Dirge looks at the silicone implants*

"Thought I'd chucked those in the bin"

*Dirge takes a second look at the Image, then growls a inhuman growl, then he destroys the computer with a blast of his arm cannon

The blast is so big that it throws the pile of junk everywhere*

"Someone who I thought was close to me."

*Dirge Turns to face Galvatron, the anger evident in his optics*

"My day will come soon enough"

*Dirge steps forward, but the rat trap snaps closed on his foot, causing him to fall flat on his mush. on top of the letter to Galvy*

"Oh yeah, this is for you BPP"

_________________


one guy was dead and still posted over a hundred times! :- Ramjet

You came back from the Dead before I could catch your post count on the Lair:- Sixshot

Unicron could be anybody's daddy. He's a giant man whore. :- Galvatron
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Re: Decepticon HQ

Post by Galvatron on Sun Nov 25, 2012 12:01 am

a letter? To me? I feel so special..

Galvatron opens the letter from Dirge and it reads.....

To BPP

I am riting u this letter only becuz i no u don't have time to lissen as u r allwaz so buzzy.

Wut I wanna no iz if I can hav my own room? I have to share with all the other seeckerz and Starscream snorz to Lowd. Pluss my bed is necks to Thrust and he is allwayz up all nite goin to the bathruum.

so pleez pleez pleez hav my own ruum?

Galvatron crumbles the letter up and tosses it on the floor. He attempts to walk out of the mess on the floor exploding a silicone implant.

OH GROSS!! Dammit Dirge! Clean this mess and then find who this Book Face hacker is and report to me as soon as you have evidence!

Galvatron walks to his private chambers

Dam I think that boy drank too much Mexican water!

_________________


Gathering wood is also a great bonding experience - SIXSHOT
I'm getting more ass than a donkey farm - SIXSHOT (again)
You twist around in the air and assault the room with your unmentionable! - SOP
It's so weird around here Dora wont even explore it-RAVAGE
has anyone realized yet that SOP sounds an awful lot like SOB? - DETECTIVE BARRICADE
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Re: Decepticon HQ

Post by Dirge on Sun Nov 25, 2012 12:29 pm

*Dirge gets a huge wheelie bin out of his cockpit and throws all the stuff in it ... Then empties it all out back into his cockpit.

Then he starts to rebuild his computer*

"Why did I do that to my computer?"

Dirge patiently rebuilds his computer and turns it on, the screen lights up and goes through the startup procedures.*

"DOKTA FRANKEN BOT, IT'S ALIVE, BUT IT VILL KEEL US ALL!!!!!!!"

*Dirge parks his butt in his chair, but finding it uncomfortable, he swaps it with Galvatrons big command chair hoping Galvy wont notice*

_________________


one guy was dead and still posted over a hundred times! :- Ramjet

You came back from the Dead before I could catch your post count on the Lair:- Sixshot

Unicron could be anybody's daddy. He's a giant man whore. :- Galvatron
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Re: Decepticon HQ

Post by Galvatron on Sun Nov 25, 2012 2:11 pm

Galvatron steps out of his private chambers to see if Dirge cleaned up his mess....

It's time I do some pondering on my next plan to overtake the Universe. I need to sit down and think.

Galvatron sits down in his usual commanding spot...He wiggles his sexy giant purple metal butt cheeks...He stretches his back..He shuffles back and forth...He notices something is different...He opens the control panel to turn on the holographic TV on. He hits the power button and the only channels available are not the channels Galvatron had programmed in his TV memory.

The Farm Channel?! click

Coneheads The Movie!? click

Farmers Auction Channel!? click

F-15 Biography!? click

Flight Instructions Channel!?....

.... In Spanish!? click

Galvatron turns the Holographic TV off and grabs the chair. He takes the chair over to Dirge and smashes it over his head. Then he takes his real chair and pulls it out from underneath Dirge. Dirge crashes to the floor. The crash too the floor unplugged Dirge's computer.

Galvatron places his chair in it's rightful place and sits comfortably in his chair. He begins to ponder on his next ideas for Universal Domination but all he could think about is why does Dirge have the Flight Instructions channel in Spanish!!

That dipstick can't speak Spanish!

_________________


Gathering wood is also a great bonding experience - SIXSHOT
I'm getting more ass than a donkey farm - SIXSHOT (again)
You twist around in the air and assault the room with your unmentionable! - SOP
It's so weird around here Dora wont even explore it-RAVAGE
has anyone realized yet that SOP sounds an awful lot like SOB? - DETECTIVE BARRICADE
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Re: Decepticon HQ

Post by Dirge on Sun Nov 25, 2012 2:34 pm

*Dirge picks himself of the floor, rubbing his sore cone and looks at Galvatron*

"Tengo el canal vuelo en espaƱol porque yo lo entiendo"

*Dirge re plugs in his computer and steals Sixshots chair since his own is now broken in half
Then Dirge puts on a Cris Rea song at full blast*

YOU MUST BE EVIL .....

_________________


one guy was dead and still posted over a hundred times! :- Ramjet

You came back from the Dead before I could catch your post count on the Lair:- Sixshot

Unicron could be anybody's daddy. He's a giant man whore. :- Galvatron
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Re: Decepticon HQ

Post by Galvatron on Sun Nov 25, 2012 2:57 pm

*facepalms*

Galvatron then realized he has hit Dirge in the head one too many times

_________________


Gathering wood is also a great bonding experience - SIXSHOT
I'm getting more ass than a donkey farm - SIXSHOT (again)
You twist around in the air and assault the room with your unmentionable! - SOP
It's so weird around here Dora wont even explore it-RAVAGE
has anyone realized yet that SOP sounds an awful lot like SOB? - DETECTIVE BARRICADE
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Re: Decepticon HQ

Post by Dirge on Sun Nov 25, 2012 3:08 pm

*Dirge sits eating a mexican chilli,

Suddenly his optics start to water and smoke comes from his neck, then he breathes a jet of fire across the room*

WAAAAAAATER!!!!!!!!

*Dirge gets out a glass labelled "Mexicun water do not drink"

_________________


one guy was dead and still posted over a hundred times! :- Ramjet

You came back from the Dead before I could catch your post count on the Lair:- Sixshot

Unicron could be anybody's daddy. He's a giant man whore. :- Galvatron
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Re: Decepticon HQ

Post by Galvatron on Sun Nov 25, 2012 4:50 pm

Dirge spits out the nasty water all over his computer. Water seeps into the circuit board. Sparks and smoke surround the computer until it blows up.

Now you will never know who hacked your Book Face! I told you that water is bad for you!

_________________


Gathering wood is also a great bonding experience - SIXSHOT
I'm getting more ass than a donkey farm - SIXSHOT (again)
You twist around in the air and assault the room with your unmentionable! - SOP
It's so weird around here Dora wont even explore it-RAVAGE
has anyone realized yet that SOP sounds an awful lot like SOB? - DETECTIVE BARRICADE
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Re: Decepticon HQ

Post by Dirge on Mon Nov 26, 2012 8:51 pm

*Dirge has just finished emptying a 45 gallon drum of water, his armour steams as it cools again*

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH that's better"

*Dirge then glares at the Wheelie head on the wall and hooks it and the voicebox up to the main power supply*

"WHY DID YOU HACK MY FACEBOOK YOU RHYMING PIECE OF YESTERDAYS LEFTOVER TURD????????????"

"AAAARGLE BARGLE BARGLE AAAARGLE MAAAAARGLE"

"THAT'S NO FOOKIN EXCUSE!!!!!!"

"MAAAAAAAAAARGE SHARGLE DARGLE BAAAAAAAARGLE"

"IF YOU WERE THAT UPSET WITH ME FOR TRYIN' TO KILL YOU, WHY NOT JUST SAY?????"

SNAAAAAAAAARRGLE KARGLE BARGLE FARGLE"

_________________


one guy was dead and still posted over a hundred times! :- Ramjet

You came back from the Dead before I could catch your post count on the Lair:- Sixshot

Unicron could be anybody's daddy. He's a giant man whore. :- Galvatron
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Re: Decepticon HQ

Post by Galvatron on Tue Nov 27, 2012 12:57 am

Galvatron looks over to observe Dirge's conversation when he realizes Dirge's hand is up inside Wheelies head making the mouth move like a puppet.

He decided it's time to call Dr. Psychotron and make Dirge an appointment...He dails the Dr. on his intercom...

Dr. Psychotron's office. The Dr. is busy. I'm his secretary how may I help You?

Don't give me that! I know you don't have a secretary!!

Oh! Galvatron! I didn't know it's you. Are you FINALLY going to admit yourself?

What!? There is nothing wrong with me! I'M NORMAL! I need to admit Dirge!

Dirge who?

Dirge... uuuhhhhh Conehead... You little-- you know who Dirge is!

Oh that DIRGE.. Of course of course... Send him in to my lab. I'll be waiting for him.

Galvatron hangs up his intercom and feels that the Dr. needs a Dr.

Dirge, it's apparent to me that you are in desperate need of medication. I'm sending you to Dr. Psychotron. Go to his lab. He'll be waiting for you.

_________________


Gathering wood is also a great bonding experience - SIXSHOT
I'm getting more ass than a donkey farm - SIXSHOT (again)
You twist around in the air and assault the room with your unmentionable! - SOP
It's so weird around here Dora wont even explore it-RAVAGE
has anyone realized yet that SOP sounds an awful lot like SOB? - DETECTIVE BARRICADE
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Galvatron
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Re: Decepticon HQ

Post by Dirge on Fri Nov 30, 2012 4:46 pm

"But I don't wanna see a doctor BPP, I wanna be the half time entertainment at the Super Bowl"

*Dirge sees the look on Galvys face*

"Oh okay, if you insist"

*Dirge changes to jet mode and drives out on the ground*

_________________


one guy was dead and still posted over a hundred times! :- Ramjet

You came back from the Dead before I could catch your post count on the Lair:- Sixshot

Unicron could be anybody's daddy. He's a giant man whore. :- Galvatron
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Re: Decepticon HQ

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