^^^ Don't mess with Texas.
"I'd hunt down the bastard who jizzed on my face. Then I'd kill them. Then I'd keep quiet." -Dezarus Prime
"That poor horse is the pivot horse for an emoticon orgy." -Galvatron
"Hide the penis? I'm not falling for that one again." -Ramjet
"However I don't mind rap that degrades Minicons." -Dai Atlas
"Timbuktu, please blame Islamist Terrorists for the delay..." -SuperOmegaPrime
"You forgot to mention the dead guy that keeps on whoreing!!!!!!" -Dirge
"Gobots and dead guys. What's next to greet me? Captain Planet?" -Detective Barricade
"WTF is this? I thought this was a transformers website and you guys are buying tractors and shit spreaders and the hunger games. -Ravage
"Hmmm. I must be a pimp and a gun runner to afford everything!! -Tyjos Azari
- Pimp Maestro of the Lair
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|Here's a groaner that I got the other day in my E-mail:|
After Quasimodo's death, the bishop of the Cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bell ringer was needed.
The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up into the belfry to begin the screening process.
After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he had decided to call it a day.
Just then, an armless man approached him and announced that he was there to apply for the bell ringer's job. The bishop was incredulous.
'You have no arms !'
'No matter,' said the man. 'Observe !'
And he began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon.
The bishop listened in astonishment; convinced he had finally found a replacement for Quasimodo.
But suddenly, as he rushed forward to strike the bell, the armless man tripped and plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death in the street below.
The stunned bishop rushed down two hundred and ninety five church steps, when he reached the street, a crowd had gathered around the fallen figure, drawn by the beautiful music they had heard only moment before.
As they silently parted to let the bishop through, one of them asked,
'Bishop, who was this man ?'..
'I don't know his name,' the bishop sadly replied,
WAIT FOR IT!!!
' .................... BUT HIS FACE RINGS A BELL'
WAIT ! WAIT ! There's more
The following day, despite the sadness that weighed heavily on his heart due to the unfortunate death of the armless campanologist, the bishop continued his interviews for the bell ringer of Notre Dame.
The first man to approach him said, 'Your Excellency, I am the brother of the poor armless wretch that fell to his death from this very belfry yesterday.
I pray that you honour his life by allowing me to replace him in this duty.'
The bishop agreed to give the man an audition, and, as the armless man's brother stooped to pick up a mallet to strike the first bell, he groaned, clutched at his chest, twirled around, and died on the spot.
Two monks, hearing the bishop's cries of grief at this second tragedy, rushed up the stairs to his side.
'What has happened ? Who is this man ?' the first monk asked breathlessly.
'I don't know his name,' sighed the distraught bishop, 'but....'
(. . . Wait for it ....)
'HE'S A DEAD RINGER FOR HIS BROTHER.'
Ultimate Energy Combiner, Omega Prime!!
You had a taste, now its time for the main course!! Omega Arsenal Blast!!!
I have the power of a mod stick, users beware or face my wrath!
- Promiscuous Post Whore
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