Crazy/stupid Bios

I got this crazy idea from Dirge's live thread, we create bios of various characters, but there is to be some standards to this:

standard over view:
Name:
Age:
Gender:
Colors:
Strength:
Speed:
Intelligence:
Loves:
Hates:
Stupid trivia:

I'll go first to give you an idea of what I'm aiming at:
Name: Starscream
Age: 6 billion give or take a billion
Gender: male robot if they have genders
Colors: Red, grey, black, blue
Strength: 7
Speed: 9
Intelligence: 9
Loves: making clones as apart of his on going quest to overthrow Megatron and take command of the Decepicons!
Hates: Autobots, Megatron, loosing
Stupid trivia: Lost a bit of his memory in a freak accident and started thinking he is a clone, now the only problem is now that none of the clones know who the real Starscream is and their always squabbling about how they would lead the Decepicons and who is the real Starscream!

You should do one of SUPEROMEGAPRIME

here is mine...

standard over view:
Name:Galvatron, Mr. Giggity, Asshole, Lord of Destruction, Ruler of The Decepticons and many more
Age: It was the year 2005 when Unicron created me.
Gender: Male
Colors: Purple, Grey
Strength:10
Speed:10
Intelligence:2
Loves: Destruction, Asian women, Chaos and the sight of a melted Autobot
Hates: Anything that gets in my way of the above mentioned
Stupid trivia: A reincarnation of Megatron. Always in the need for a 9volt battery. Has frequent erections. Likes long walks on the beach. Blasts his laser cannon without any 2nd thought. Has a strange unknown connection with Lenord Nemoy.

Name: SUPEROMEGAPRIME
Age: unknown
Gender: Male
Colors: Red, white, blue, gold plus a shiny aura
Strength: Ω
Speed: Ω
Intelligence: 9
Loves: Freedom
Hates: Prisons
Stupid trivia: Cannot be stopped by anyone in direct battle and houses an army's worth of firepower for devastating impact, also holds the mysterious Omega sword for close quarters combat!

Name: Ravage
Age: same as rumble, frenzy, and lazerbeak
Gender:  Male
Colors:  Black and silver
Strength: more than my repaints
Speed:  really im a jaguar bitches
Intelligence:  lol oh ummm maybe a 2
Loves: pooping and hiding
Hates:  being so thin I could fall over from a 5mph breeze
Stupid trivia:  loves to poop everywhere and watch other decepticons step in it, then do the sly kitty laugh and run off into the shadows.  also likes to chase after autobots and freak out the human drivers.

 
I'd like to see lots more of these.

Name: Megatron
Age: 5 billion, spark age much older but the 5 is from when taking up the name Megatron!
Gender: Male Tyrant
Colors: Various due to mutable body symptom!
Strength: 11 or 1000 depending on when weapons are firing or not!
Speed: 1 - 10 depending who doing the loading
Intelligence: 8
Loves: Blasting things and conquering puny weak races
Hates: Optimus prime and the Autobots
Stupid trivia: Once dreamed of being a hero but evenly like most of his ordinal body, went in the trash can to be recycled!

Name: Sixshot (aliases: Sixslut, SixtyNiner and Nikki Sixx)
Age: Old enough to know better, but too young to care.
Gender: Swings a big stick with 6 balls.
Colors: Teal/Black representing the South Kaon Crips.
Strength: Energon Pub armwrestling champion 6 years running.
Speed: Fast enough to outrun the law.
Intelligence: Smart enough to never lose a bet.
Loves: Petite femmes with nice asses and huge racks.
Hates: Fat bitches that sit on the couch all day.
Stupid trivia: You gets no trivia today, muthafuckaaaas.

Name: Swindle
Age: 6 billion
Gender: Male con-artist 
Colors: Military desert!
Strength: 4
Speed: 5
Intelligence: 8, smart enough to try and trick Sixshot into gambling on a non existent race
Loves: collecting currencies & Vertaback
Hates: losing currencies & Vertaback
Stupid trivia: He'll do anything to take your currency, including lying, pick pocketing, breaking into vaults, while setting off alarms at the same time!

Ooooookay .........

Let's do a proper one for Dirge ......

Name:- Dirge/dirgence/cap'n conehead

Age:- ummmm, 6 or 7 million give or take a few thousand

Gender:- depends on my mood and what time of the month it is

Colours:- appropriately, black and blue

Strength:- strong enough to kick a steam engine off the tracks

Speed:- not quite as fast as a speeding bullet

Intelligence:- ranges from 1 to 9 depending on how much pineapple juice I've had

Loves:- trying to do impossible things

Hates:- the law, the taxman and the fuckin grim reaper

Trivia:- once invented a huge robotic bat by the name of batzilla

Good one Dirge!   

Name: Vertaback
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Colours: Yellow and orange with a touch of brown
Strength: 9
Speed: 8
Intelligence: 7
Loves: Blackmailing Swindle and getting his share of the winnings, the arena, killing this opponents in the arena!
Hates: Cutting fights short, being summoned by Predaking
Trivia: The second most dangerous Predacon after Predaking, for his brutally in the arena, anyone who has walked into the arena very rarely walks out functional! He's weapon of choice is a sword, thou he has a gun which he can store on his back and a weapon in his beast form tail!

Time for my favourite Decepticon who some of you may remember ......


Name:- Snaptrap

Gender:- How the fuck do you tell what sex a bastard turtle is? huh? *Kills interviewer*

Colours:- Green and purple (He insisted that if I said pink he would eat me)

Strength:- Strong enough to lay the smackdown on most other transformers

Speed:- He's a fuckin turtle, you work it out dummy

Intelligence:- 9

Loves:- beating up his fellow decepticons destroying anything and everything in sight, blowing stuff up, eating humans and his favourite teddy bear named bunnykins

Hates:- Everything

Trivia:- once wiped out an entire regiment of autobots on his own, earning the nickname "Butcher of the bogs" then enjoyed a cuddle with bunnykins

Name: Grimlock, correction KING Grimlock

Gender: Male (doh)

Colours: Grey, black, gold and a touch of red!

Strength: When he gets into a bar fight, he the only one walking out cracking his knuckles!

Speed: 6

Intelligence: 7

Loves: His boyz, being a Dynobot and cracking Decpticon heads

Hates: Megatron, Shockwave, Starscream and the rest of the Decpticon bullies, also being kissed on the nose in Dinobot mode!

Trivia: Once had a tanktruck mode back on Cybertron until he met Shockwave who turned him into a Dinobot, he also wants to be king, of what, is unstated!