101 Different ways Dirge has died

74# Got mistaken for a Christmas Tree by a blind man and ended up being the tree in the man's home complete with ornaments and a star on top of his head!

75:- went over niagra falls in a barrel for a £5 bet

76# Met his SG self and killed him or was it the other way around?

#77 fell into the hey bayler and became a bail of hey

#78:- Got his conehead chewed off by his pet crocogator

79# Dirge proof box, got stuck inside of it when packaged by the Elves when they sent him to Galvatron for his 2051 Christmas gift!

#80 while hanging christmas lights and decorations on his house, he fell off the roof, landed on a rake, and had a giant plastic Santa Claus land on his head,  then was ran over by ANOTHER tractor. Although he was still alive.... until the christmas lights came falling down and the tear in the electrical wire sparked and landed on a puddle of gas leaking from the tractor causing it to explode.

81# Attempting to put up his Christmas tree, but the tree had other ideas, it didn't like standing up and decided to go "TIMBER" On top of Dirge, he was still alive until his house decided it couldn't cope with the madness anymore and went to pieces on top of Dirge, then came the Grim Reaper with his little black book that had the title of "How many ways does Dirge die and get back to life, written by G R Reaper!"

#82 went bunji jumping but forgot to hook up the bunji cord

83# Took a trip down memory lane and experienced all of his deaths over, when he got back to the present, he found himself standing underneath a piano that was hanging from a crane controlled by Galvatron, then the piano dropped before Dirge could do anything, thus died once more!

#84 one fatefull evening, Dirge was being annoying so Galvatron tossed the  at him. The brick missed by a fraction. Dirge then realized that life was too short to be screwing around all the time and he decided to try  then he  . He got so silly he wanted to  on hookers. British hookers are not the best around....
 and after shagging the hooker, he went home and sat on the computer for 3 days without sleep.  . He picked up some cigarettes for the first time  . He got smoke in his eyes and while running to the bathroom to take a  he tripped on the  he banged his head on the wall real hard   and died

85# had the   land on his brain module during cleaning!

#86 was 86'ed from all the internet porn sites and this caused his pecker to fall off, and he died from bordom



(86'ed means kicked out or kicked off and no longer welcome back)

87# Got the way of Optimus prime and Nemesis prime having a truck collision contest, he ended up as road kill!

#88 got his head chopped off while doing sit ups

(only Dirge would be able to have such a thing occure)

89# Got stabbed in the spark chamber while weight lifting (another thing only could happen to Dirge)

#90 drank too much Mexican water

91# Got a job as a soldier on Gallifrey during the Time war!

#92 Ran out of jet fuel in mid flight over the Atlantic Ocean

93# Hopped onto the wrong bus, instead of downtown, it was down under, only Dirge could do that!

#94 While disguised as Santa Clause, Dirge was up on Ramjet's rooftop. He planned to go down the chimney and steal all of Ramjet's toys wrapped up under his Christmas tree. Midway down the chimney, Ramjet made a huge fire the heat was so intence, it melted santa-Dirge.

95# Got packaged as a gift for Galvatron but when Galvatron saw its shape, he threw the package in the trash and Dirge got sent to the recycling plant to be recycled into tins of cat food, which is why they say cats have nine lives!

#96 spontaneously combusted

97# Met a nice "little" Troll when crossing a bridge but he didn't have the required payment, thus the Troll using his club, well you get the idea!

#98 Put on female Deer urine cologne while hunting to attrack a male buck. He got the bucks attention for sure and was raped to death by the Deer