Decepticon HQ

* dirge sees flying tractors for a few seconds after galvatron belts his conehead *

" ddddduuuhh "

* dirge then hears the loud rumbling noise and sees galvy burst into tears *

" you really gotta stop eating bologne galvy ...

its playing hell with your insides "

maybe i just need to get some rest. I did go through a lot of trouble chasing Bumblebee around.
besides, it's rather late. I'm off to my recharging chambers for a few hours.


Galvatron retreats to his recharging chambers to get some rest.
The next morning he awakens to a strange feeling...

OOOOH I feel awful! I think I'm going to be sick!

Galvatron rushes to the Waste dumping chambers and vomits.

Then he went into the kitchen to make himself some breakfast....

Hmmm pickles, peanut butter, french fries and ice cream should make a good breakfast.

Galvatron mixes all the ingredients together in a blender then consumes the breakfast of champions..

* dirge watches galvys breakfast

he starts to put 2 and 2 together *

" FIVE " * shouts dirge *

" that looks like pig swill galvy

whats gotten into you ? "

i dont' know what's got into me but I hope it works it's way out soon!!! We have the Lair's anniversary party in just a couple of weeks. I can't host a party in this condition!! It feels like something is kicking the begeezus out of my insides! I think I will chase this breakfast down with some hardcore energon 1000 proof alcohal!

Galvatron mixes himself a drink from all the near empty bottles of booze that are laying around the HQ.

Want a drink Dirge?

" yup "

* dirge downs a glass of the evil looking concoction and starts to stagger around the HQ with a silly smile *

" WOOOOOOOOO

thats got some kick with it "

* dirge looks over at galvatron *

" maybe i should examine you

y know ... see whats wrong "

A drunken Galvatron histarically laughs at Dirge.

First you get drunk and NOW you want to examine me? Don't tell me you have a doctors degree somewhere in that cockpit! I think it might be a good idea to wait until you sober up first before you do any examining. Speaking of drinking, have another!

Galvatron mixes up two more glasses of "masterpiece-blend" of various alcohalic beverages and hands one to Dirge.

Galvatron laughs so hard he nearly passes out. But the RUMBLing noise in his insides keep him awake in pain.

* dirge downs the 2nd lot of masterpiece blend *

" BUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRP "

* dirge gets out a stethoscope and plonks the listening bit of galvatrons fat belly

he listens for a second *

" GAAAAAAAAAAALLLLVY

YOURE P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-PREEEGNANT "

* dirge then opens his cockpit and gets out a phone

he dials 999 DOCTOR *

" ELLO

WE NEED A DOCTOR

DECEPTICON HQ

AND WE NEED HIM NOOOOOOOW "

*bumps into Decepticon HQ wearing surgery mask and gloves* Who needs a doctor!?

Galvatron bangs Dirge on his conehead again!

HOW THE HELL CAN I BE PREGNANT??!! If you ever say that again, you will be pregnant with my giant metal foot up your thrusters!!

Then Galvatron seen Optimus Prime enter the Decepticon HQ...


OPTIMUS PRIME!! How did you get past our guards?... Oh yeah, Sunstorm killed them when HQ got destroyed by his extreme power of "bringing the rain".

Optimus Prime, you are lucky I am in no mood to destroy you right now! I've got some internal issues I'm dealing with. Can you come back at another time so I can pulverize you into scrap?


Galvatron hutches over in pain holding on to this abdomen. The pain is intense. The swelling is noticable.
The Rumbling is harsh...

Dirge reaches over and feels the kicking.

* dirge looks up at optimus prime *

THANK PRIMUS YOURE HERE DR PRIME

HE NEEDS EXAMINING

BY THE FEELS OF THIS KICKING I THINK HES PREGNANT "

* dirge then picks galvy up and throws him into a chair and ties his cannon to the chair arm *

" there ya go Dr prime

examine him "

YOU CAN'T KEEP ME DOWN!!!

Galvatron rips through the straps and rises to his feet. The swelling is obvious to everyone now.


No way is it possible for me to be pregnant! I can't be in this condition. We got a party to go to on the 29th of this month!!!

Dirge and Prime stand back in awe from the enormous size of Galvatron's swollen body. The rumbling noises can be heard as it echos inside Galvatron.

I'm hungry!

Galvatron rolls himself into the kitchen to make something to eat....

Hmmmm.... ice cream, pickles, corn on the cob, chili beans, pizza sound like a good lunch.

He takes all the items and places them into a blender and mixes them all together into a smoothie drink.


Anybody else want a smoothie?

* dirge looks at the smoothie and turns around and pukes *

" see what i mean Dr prime ?

hes been acting like this for a few days now "

*Dr. prime picks up his cell and makes a call for some assistance, a few min later BB with an ACME medical bag walks in*

I brought your bag Dr. Where shall I set up the operating table?

BB then opens another ACME bag and pulls out an operating table out of nowhere complete with lights and equipment

I don't need to see a doctor!!! You are all insane!!! Why won't you all leave me alone!!

Galvatron begins to leak lubricants from his optics...

It's rather late and I've had a long day. I'm going to rest in my recharging chambers. Hopefully I will feel better tomorrow!

Galvatron rolls into his recharging chambers but cannot fit through the door because he's too damn fat.

The only other way to keep my mind off of the pain is to drink large quantities of alcohal and smoke lots of energon sticks.

Galvatron grabs a bottle of Jackbot-Daniels and steps outside to smoke an energon stick.

He takes a big swig of the drink....

Aaaah the rumbling is slowing down already.

He lights up an energon stick and inhales then exhales....
During his exhale, he hears a faint coughing noise coming from within

* dirge scratches his conehead

then he hears the faint coughing *

" DAMMIT GALVY ... YOUR KILLING THE BABY "

* dirge grabs the energon stick and stamps on it and takes the alcohol and hands it to BB

then he turns to Dr prime *

" DONT JUST STAND THERE DR PRIME ...

EXAMINE HIM ON THAT TABLE THAT BUGBOT JUST FOUND "

my stogie!!! you smashed my stogie!!! If i were not so swollen i would smash you!!!
but just to get you guys off of my back and prove that i'm not pregnant, i will lay down on this table. But do NOT strap me down!!!

Galvatron lays down on the table and the entire structure crumbles to the floor.

UGH! Let's hurry up and get this nonsence over with!

*Gets stetoscope from medibag* Well Galvy..have to ask you something..what the heck have you been eating??

*listening to Galvys stomach..hears music* Ehh...okaay..sounds like someones throwing a party in there...
WHAT have you been doing???

" im not going to mcdonalds

i will cook you something *

* dirge heads into the kitchen

there follows a series of bangs ... crashes ... swearing ... explosions ... smoke ... smells of burning

dirge then comes out of the kitchen with a cheese sammich *

" here you go galvy

a dirge cheese special

with everything on it "

Galvatron takes the sammich and eats it all in 1 bite.
Too much cheese will make me constipated. Maybe that's my problem. Maybe I need some laxitives.

The Rumbling in Galvatron's insides gets louder...

WHOAH!! Maybe I'm not constipated after all.
Galvatron cannot get up off of the floor so he rolls to the waste chambers he feels he needs to digest badly.
But once again, he cannot fit through the door.

OH NO!! I need to change my metal armor!!!

BB looks in his ACME bag and pulls out an ultrasound machine and a super sized robo-depends. Just then Galvaron farts and EVERYONE in the room starts to gag due to the smell and BB pulls out Gas masks from the ACME bag and passes them around. Dirge puts his on his cone but not on his face. He continues to gag and throws up in a bucket he pulled out of his cockpit.

I dont even want to know why you had that in your cockpit Dirge. Oh and just so you know your on robo-depends duty.

After a long night of GAStronomical chaos, Galvatron was able to get some sleep.
He wakes up the next morning feeling sick as a dog...
He noticed that Bumblebee is still sleeping in the corner holding his Slumble-bee pillow and sucking his thumb.
Galvatron feels like he's going to barf, so he takes BB's gas mask and unleashes waves of ice cream and pickles and pizza and cheese sammiches into the gas mask.

BB wakes up gasping for fresh air and has his ACME Pierriair can as seen in Spaceballs handy.

Cant get me that easy Galvy.

BB then pulls another gas mask out of his ever handy bag.....

* dirge wakes up cuddled up to Dr prime

he looks around and sees galvy gone

then he smells smoke

he rushes outside with a bucket of water and chucks it at galvy *

" DAMMIT GALVY

YOU DONT SMOKE WHEN YOURE PREGNANT "